I have yet to meet someone battling cancer that does not become anxious before a scan. Whether you are past the magical five year marker or not, the three, six or twelve month scans seem to drive us to “What if?” The scan is the exam you’ve been cramming for and desperately want to ace. Every time.

My six month scan was last Friday. This time around I had a PET scan vs a CT scan. This means I get to be a little radioactive but without the Spider-sense development. After having to reassure my newbie technician that my IV port can in fact be used, I lie in a dark room for about 40 minutes building up the suspense. Then I take a ride in a tube for 30 minutes and we’re done.

My doctor tells there is still no metastatic evidence. Six months clean! They should give out chips or gold stars.

I have potentially nine more rounds of Avastin treatments but if I keep getting clean scans, I’ll open-wide and take my medicine.

Far too many people I know and millions more I do not, are living with cancer. We take the chemo, the radiation, the surgeries, the trails whatever will give us a fighting chance for more sunny days. My mortality gets pushed to the forefront before and after the scans. Whether the outcome is positive or negative, I just want to focus on what’s important to me right now. And what’s most important is the happiness I share with those I love. Little and big joys that give any pain and uncertainty clarity.

“What you do today is important because you are exchanging a day of your life for it.”